Why are you different from your sibling?
Dara Shikoh was the eldest of the Mughal princes and son of emperor Shahjahan. Dara lost the throne to his brother Aurangzeb in a bloody fight. Aurangzeb was ferocious and interested in acquiring the throne at any cost. Both Dara and Aurangzeb were sons of the same father, brought up in the shared environment, yet their personalities were opposite. Dara Shikoh was liberal, unorthodox, and spiritual, while Aurangzeb was ambitious, orthodox, and a fundamentalist.
It is a conundrum that how come sons of the same parents, brought up in the shared environment, possess different & unique personality traits?
Researchers & psychologists suggest 2 major factors that shape personalities.
Genetics — Physiological
Environment — Physical or Social Surrounding
Before going further, let’s understand what personality is. We can define personality as a dynamic and organized set of characteristics possessed by a person who uniquely influences his or her cognitions, motivations, and behaviors in various situations.
Kurt Lewin, the father of modern psychology, proposed that the development of an individual as a function of an interaction between inborn predisposition(nature) and life experience (nurture). Lewin presented this concept in the form of a mathematical equation BF(P * E) or Behaviour Function (Predisposition * Experience). The equation was known as Lewin’s equation of behavior. Mort Deutsche, the eminent psychologist, and Columbia University professor penned another theory in 1970. It was called the theory of Psychological orientation and social relations. He built this theory on his earlier work. It stressed how social dimensions influence human behavior.
It specified that people seek social relations that fit their dominant orientation. Along with this, a strong social situation will also shape people’s orientations over a period. Does this explain why Dara Shikoh’s personality was different from his brother’s, in spite of being brought up in a shared environment? He was inclined towards spirituality and gaining knowledge about other religions as he came in relations with the Muslim saints, Sikh and Hindu gurus. This made him learn Upanishads and other religious literature. He turned into a more liberal and unorthodox person compared to his brother.
The shaping of Personality happens in phases, during childhood a child can be influenced by genetics and the internal environment. According to JJ Arnet’s Emerging Adulthood — A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties from late teens to 20 is a time of emerging adulthood. From the age of 18 to 30 more demographic transitions occur, during this phase an individual has assumed at least one major adult role and so the age 30 becomes a mark of the beginning of proper adulthood.
An individual gathers most of his life experience and exposure during his growing up years. These life spaces, determined as a physical and social environment that an individual finds himself in. It may include places he visits, books he reads, TV shows or mediums he accesses, people and incidents he encounters, his imaginations, and the goals he sets. Every element of an unshared environment, social and physical shapes an individual’s personality.
Hope that answers our questions about why Dara was different from his brother Aurangzeb, or Why is our personality different from our siblings? As the famous motivational speaker Jim Rohn says “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” sounds believable.
